I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
