discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
