I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
