"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
