We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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