Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
FUCK WHALES
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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