great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
