She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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