i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize