They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize