Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
