I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
