I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize