people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
