Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
