If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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