a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
