turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
