I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
