I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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