Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
