We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
