we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
