DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
