i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
