I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
