Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
