his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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