Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
