Don't you send me to vm
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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