i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
