both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
