the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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