can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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