OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
