so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
