I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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