HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
