Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
