He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
