Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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