I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The Olympian is in my bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
