the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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