i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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