im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
