I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize