PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
