p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
