I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
