Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
