I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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