either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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