before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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