Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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