i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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