Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
