Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
