um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
