On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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