So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
