I hate all girls vehemently.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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