he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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