He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
