So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
