the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
