well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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