I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
