I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
