His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
