remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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