dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
