She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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