Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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