I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
