Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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