I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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